Ode to Maxwell Celebrating His 5th B-day, Aug 26th

About a year ago when Max was four, he and I were having a conversation in the car. Somehow we got on the topic of birth order. Max was wondering why he was the first born in our family. Before I could reply he answered his own question, “Because Heavenly Father wanted me to be.” Being the eldest is not always easy and certainly it has its pros and cons (I should know), however, when I think of what a great big brother Max is to Lincoln and Eden and how easy he is to forgive our first-time parenting mistakes, I can see the wisdom in his being the first child.

Five years ago Herb and I were anxiously awaiting the arrival our first baby, the rite of passage into parenthood. Excited and anxious, we were also praying he wouldn’t arrive early as all summer long we were in the midst of remodeling a two bedroom condo that had proven to need more work than had been anticipated. Herb would wake-up early and work on the condo before going to his new job as a mortgage broker, than he would spend all night, often until 2am working to get it into move-in condition. It was stressful, and not something I would ever recommend. When the condo was finally ready, we moved in the weekend of Max’s due date. Max made his debut five days later on Aug. 26th, just after most of the unpacking had been done. What a relief.

Earlier that day Herb’s mother, Christine had arrived from Texas. Her timing couldn’t have been better. I went to my doctor’s office that afternoon for a stress test and it was during this time I began to have a regular pattern of contractions. I left the office excited and a bit nervous as I realized the moment I had been anticipating was finally here. This being my first pregnancy, I really had no idea what to expect as to the kind of discomfort and pain I would feel. Christine made sure I had a good dinner and then, not being able to concentrate on much else, I sat in the rocking chair and timed my contractions. I was feeling pretty good, in some discomfort but thinking I might be able to do this delivery without any drugs. Once the contractions were about 12 min apart we headed to the hospital about 8:30pm. By this point I was sure I was dilated to at least a four, maybe even a five. The contractions were getting to be painful and I was focusing getting through each one. When the nurses checked me, it was to my great dismay that I was dilated at a two. I knew then, I would NOT be doing this delivery without drugs.

Have you ever heard Bill Cosby describe contractions as akin to taking your bottom lip and pulling it up over your head? It’s worse, and I couldn’t wait to be provided with some kind of relief. Poor Herb, he was trying to comfort me, doing all the things he’d been taught to do in our labor and delivery class. At one point, through clenched teeth I told him, “Don’t touch me!” When Herb describes this moment to others he makes it sound as if I were suddenly possessed by some demonic spirit.

Finally, at around midnight I got the welcome news that I was dilated to a point the anesthesiologist could administer the epidural. Oh blessed epidural! One minute I was feeling like my insides were being torn out, and the next minute all I could feel was a tightening sensation with no pain at all. I was SO relieved and thankful. For the next couple of hours, Herb was able to sleep and I was able to rest while watching the 2004 Summer Olympics.

Around 2am the midwife checked me and decided things were getting close and it was time to prepare for Maxwell’s delivery. At that point, they turned down the epidural so I could feel the contractions better and push through them. I pushed through my contractions for about an hour, until I was at the point where I didn’t feel I had any pushing power left. There was a moment when I really thought Max would never come out. The epidural had worn off and I didn’t think I could stand the pain of the “ring of fire.” It was at that moment when I didn’t think I could push any more, Max emerged at 3:30 am and suddenly the pain ceased. He was purple, goopy and beautiful. He was very alert and bright-eyed as he took in his new surroundings. I couldn’t stop smiling and Herb shed tears for both of us. It was a magical moment and even now as I write this account I remember how happy and excited I felt.

Later that night, I was too excited to sleep. Each time I heard footsteps walking down the hall I sat up, hoping it was one of the nurses bringing Max to me. I loved those first couple of days in the hospital when it was just Max and I. I tried to have him with me as much as possible and held him close in my bed or strolled with him down the hallways. Max was awake much of the time and hardly fussed until our first night home.

To date, Max has been our most challenging baby. As new parents we didn’t know any better and thankfully so. We might have considered giving him back if he had been our second or third. That first night at home Max cried, pretty much non-stop until 5:30 am. Herb and I looked at each other, a little panic-stricken, wondering what we had just gotten ourselves into. Thankfully we had our mothers to help and give some advice, but by and large the poor little guy was colicky and just had to get his digestive system worked out which happened around 2mos.

Max wasn’t much of a napper or a sleeper. He preferred to be awake and held at all times. My mother –in-law stayed with us for two weeks, and I didn’t realize how much I had relied on her until she left. I vividly remember Herb coming home from work the day Christine made her departure. I was still in my pajamas in the rocking chair, the same position I had been when Herb had left eight hours earlier. “How was your day?” he asked suspiciously. “You’re look’n at it!” I retorted.

My parents came and visited along with my sister Lynley when Max was six weeks old. They were an immense help and assured me that he would eventually out-grow this stage, which he did shortly after they returned home. Max still wasn’t much of a napper and he still had to be involved in everything I did, but as his personality began to emerge we could enjoy him more and more. It was evident early on that Max would be a people person. He never shied away from others and he loved to engage them with smiles and baby babble. People stopped me all the time to remark on what a friendly little chub we had. Max has always loved other children and his favorite times were play dates, which were as much for me as they were for Max. I was fortunate to have several friends who also had children the same age as Max and I have very fond memories of our walks and outings together.

Max continues to delight as well as test our parenting skills. He is engaging, a great conversationalist, inquisitive and a great friend to others. He also expresses a child’s faith and understanding of eternal principles. He has a strong desire to do what is right and is a terrific older brother to Lincoln and Eden. We love our Max and his fun-loving personality. He is a vital part of our family and we are grateful he is ours.



I love this picture of Herb holding Max at just one day old. A friend actually took it with her cell phone. Just look at the love in daddy's eyes.


This is our first professional family photo taken by a good friend. We sent it out with our Christmas cards that year celebrating our first Christmas with Max.



The following are some cute pics of Max in his first year.










Max was just a leeetle bit spoiled on his 1st birthday. We decided to have a big party with friends and a baseball theme. It was fun, a lot of work and he will be the only one of our children to have a birthday party before the age of four. Before then, it's just for the parents' sake, right? Grandma Riggs was visiting and able to celebrate the big day with us.




The day before this photo was taken, Herb was set apart as a new bishop of a new ward and we had just found out that we were expecting baby #2. Max had been up with his first bout of pneumonia the night before and I took him to the urgent care while Herb prepared to address our new ward that Sunday morning.



Age two and loving daddy time.


At the age of two, Max was infatuated with all things baseball. He loved going to his dad's softball games and watching him play. For his second birthday we got him a t-ball stand with a bat and ball. Max couldn't have been happier and showed some pretty amazing coordination in hitting the ball off the stand.



Celebrating birthday #3 with a baseball cake

Maxwell celebrating birthday #4 at his Spiderman birthday party.



Max loves superheroes and he loves his friends. It's nice when both come in the same package.


In our family we do friend parties every even year beginning at age four. On the odd years we do something big as a family to celebrate. For Max's 5th birthday we tried out a new water park, the first we'd been to all summer. It was a much needed day out for our family after the stress of moving and the boys being crazy from having too much time on their hands. After the water park we took Max to dinner at the local IHOP where he could enjoy pancakes with fruit and yogurt. Though the morning started out rocky (see note in next paragraph) it turned out to be a fun day and a great way to end the summer.





Max was very excited to receive Transformer action figures and a new bike for his birthday among other gifts. Unfortunately, due to a series of bad decisions on his part (thinking an indoor water fight with Lincoln at 6am was a good idea and spilling a container of lemonade all over the kitchen floor) he only got to open his gifts to see what he got before I put them away for a week. A rather effective consequence, if I do say so myself.